Cry Until You Laugh: Comforting Guidance For Coping With Grief Review

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Cry Until You Laugh: Comforting Guidance For Coping With Grief ReviewI didn't discover this book until 4-5 months after my mother died earlier this year, but it was definitely a Godsend. It's the first grief book I've read that made perfect sense to me from the moment I began reading it and believe me I've read or skimmed through many grief books since my family began dying around me in 1991. I was raised to be aware that I would be faced with the death of people I cared about during the course of my life and I've believed coping with death or loss was just as natural as rejoicing for a marriage or the birth of a baby, but until I read this book I didn't feel my beliefs were really validated. I also learned early in life that humor is 'a friend' and allowing it to help us cope with life's tragedies is a positive thing. Richard Obershaw presents the process of grieving as a natural life event and acknowledges that we grieve for many things in our life--not only the death of a person! These are valuable life lessons and I'll be forever grateful that I found this particular book when I did. He also takes a little more light-hearted approach than some authors which was very refreshing for me and made me feel better about embracing my own humor as I worked through my grief. For me, the MOST important point he makes is that each of us has the power to move forward "through" our pain as long as we face it head on, and "Do The Necessary Work" -- and he makes it clear that it IS work!! I've recommended his book highly to several others who are coping with a death, or any other kind of loss or change in their lives. As a matter of fact, I will be giving it as a gift this Christmas (2000) to a friend whose Mother died recently. I do think it's a must read for anyone who has accepted the reality of loss or change in their lives, and wants to find a way to work "through" their pain to get to the other side where they can reinvent themselves to start a different life. Maybe I should offer one word of caution and suggest that if a person is not 'truly' ready to accept the death (or loss) in their life, then this book may not be as helpful to them at that point. But who knows, it might just help give them a different outlook.Cry Until You Laugh: Comforting Guidance For Coping With Grief OverviewBereaved individuals are often given books to read immediately after a death. Most of these books are psychologically "heavy" and tire out the reader in the first few pages. Those books get set aside and not picked up again. This book with ease of reading, practical insight, and appropriately placed humor allow the bereaved to take "relief breaks" as they read.
The bereaved will understand not only their issues but also how society views them as they mourn. The concept of mourning as the "job of re-identifying the new self" is spelled out with clear and practical non-psycho babble words.
The process of mourning the loss and the subsequent emotional responses are described in order to assist the bereaved understand how they are feeling "normally nuts." As they come to understand this, they don't need to worry about what they are feeling...rather they will use their energy to process the loss/grief feelings.
The final pages of this book are dedicated to the myriad of myths associated with grieving today. Once the bereaved learns and understands these myths they will not be harmed by the lies that have been perpetuated on the bereaved for hundreds of years.
Easy reading easily helpful.
"A hopeful book about the journey through the pain of loss to where a person can once again 'feel good about feeling good.'" -- The Reverend Roger A. Ernst, MDiv
"Dick integrates wit and charm...introducing laughter into a dealy serious subject. I strongly urge health care professionals dealing with grieving clients to benefit from the wisdom and practical advice of this professional."-- Ronald E. Cranford, MD

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